If your college student has confided in you that they’re feeling isolated at college, your heart probably broke a little. You want to help, but you may not know where to start—especially if you’re miles away.
The good news? There are simple, actionable steps your student can take today to start feeling less alone.
I’m a psychologist who has worked with college students since 2005 and taught as a university psychology professor for 10 years. There is hope for your student.
I hosted a YouTube livestream specifically for students experiencing college isolation, and I’m sharing it with you here because the strategies I discuss can make an immediate difference. Whether your student is a first-year adjusting to campus life or a senior still struggling to find their people, these tips can help.
Why College Isolation Is So Common (And So Painful)
First, let me validate what your student might be feeling. College isolation is incredibly common, and it can happen to anyone—regardless of whether they’re living on campus or at home, whether it’s their first year or their fifth year.
I often compare the college transition to a plant being repotted. It’s traumatic for the plant, and it takes time to regain a sense of rootedness and connection in the new space. That’s what college can feel like: uprooted, unsteady, and searching for solid ground.
If your student is feeling isolated, they’re not alone in this experience—and more importantly, there are practical ways to reconnect.
Watch: What To Do When Feeling Isolated At College
In this 11-minute livestream replay, I share three trips that students can implement immediately.
You can watch me explain these in the video below, or read the tips summarized beneath the video. Either way, feel free to share these with your student as well.
The 3 Simple Ways to Help Your Student Feel Less Isolated
Here’s a preview of what I cover in the video:
1. The “Go Outside” Method (Public Proximity)
This might sound too simple to work, but it’s incredibly powerful. I encourage students to spend more time in public spaces on campus—coffee shops, the lawn, the cafeteria, common areas in their dorm—without their earbuds in.
Even if they’re just studying and no one talks to them, physically inhabiting public spaces with other people helps reduce feelings of isolation. They don’t need to have deep, profound conversations or meet their lifelong best friends tomorrow. Just being present around others is the first step.
For parents: If your student struggles with social anxiety, suggest they start small—just one minute in a public space, then three minutes, then five, gradually building up their comfort level.
2. Take One Step Toward Getting Involved
College campuses are full of clubs and events, but they can feel overwhelming when you’re already feeling isolated. The key is to take just one small step toward involvement.
That might mean:
- Following a club on social media
- RSVPing for an event
- Adding a meeting to their calendar
- Sending someone a message to ask for more information
I call this “casting the hook into the water.” Each small action increases the odds of connection. If the first club doesn’t work out? That’s totally fine—they can try something else next time.
For parents: Encourage your student to explore clubs related to their existing interests, but also remind them it’s okay to try something completely new. The goal is exploration, not perfection.
3. Seek to Serve
This is perhaps the most meaningful path to connection: looking for small ways to help others. It could be as simple as picking up a pencil someone dropped or as significant as volunteering for an organization or getting a part-time job on campus.
When students shift their focus from their own feelings of isolation to contributing to the world around them, opportunities for genuine connection naturally open up. This world needs who your student is and what they have to contribute.
For parents: Help your student identify their strengths and how they might use them to help others, even in small ways.
Additional Resources for College Students Struggling With Isolation
In the livestream, I also mention our online community where college students can make friends, find study buddies, and support each other. If your student is struggling with loneliness, they can join our community here.
What Parents Can Do Right Now
After watching this video, here are some ways you can support your college student:
- Share this video with them in a caring, non-judgmental way. Let them know you care and that help is available. Here’s what to say: “Hey, saw this and thought of you. Sharing in case you’re interested.”
- Validate their feelings without trying to immediately fix them. Sometimes students just need to know it’s normal to feel this way.
- Ask open-ended questions like “What do you think is one small step you could take this week?” rather than offering solutions they haven’t asked for.
- Be patient with the process. Remember that plant metaphor—reestablishing roots takes time.
- Consider additional support if isolation is severe or prolonged. Professional counseling can be incredibly helpful for college students navigating loneliness and adjustment challenges.
Your Student Can Feel Connected Again
If your college student is feeling isolated, please know that this doesn’t have to be their permanent reality. With small, consistent steps, they can begin to feel more connected, seen, and even celebrated for who they are.
Watch the full livestream above to get all the details on these three strategies, and please share it with your student if you think it could help.
You’re Not Alone in This
If your college student is feeling isolated, please know that this is one of the most common struggles students face. It’s temporary, it’s a solve-able problem (by them), and there are concrete steps your student can take to improve the situation.
Your empathy and willingness to help matters more than you know.
A Deeper Conversation About College Mental Health
If your student is struggling with isolation, there may be other mental health factors at play—anxiety, depression, or difficulty with transitions. As a parent, understanding the full picture of your student’s emotional well-being is crucial.
If you want to learn more about how to support your anxious or stressed college student, I invite you to watch my free training specifically designed for parents.
Free Training: Help Your Student Move Forward With Their Next Steps
Here are three keys you’ll learn in the parent training:
1️⃣ How happiness can actually be a harmful goal (and what to do instead so your student can have a successful, fulfilling adulthood)
2️⃣ The psychological superpower that prevents meltdowns and helps students do hard things
3️⃣ The little-known tool that can help students live a normal life (regardless of whether they ever find a root cause of their anxiety)
You’ll learn about these three keys, how to help your student move forward, and how our online program can help.Access the free parent training here →
Dr. Parke is a licensed psychologist who has been serving students since 2005. She completed her internship and fellowship training at the Children’s Hospital Los Angeles. She has spent thousands of hours directly serving students as their therapist, including in her private practice. She also has ten years of teaching experience as a university psychology professor.